If you followed my previous post, you will realize I am very behind in keeping my blog updated. In the last post, I talked about our first few days of camp. I mentioned meeting Noella, visiting El Camino, and interacting with the engage students.
These posts are not written in chronological order. I am posting them as I wrote them in my journal so I jump back and forth between days. Please if you have any questions don’t hesitate to contact me. I LOVE talking about Nicaragua! 🙂
March 15th, 2017
I didn’t even get to finish my last writing but I will after this. Today was the last day of camp. We just finished sending off the kids back to their homes. My heart is both full and empty. I’m not sure how that is possible but God is capable of the supernatural. This week has completely changed my life. It totally ripped me apart and then made me new again. Literally changed my whole life around. I added new perspectives, made new friends, and strengthened my faith even more than I could have ever imagined. I thought the mountains in America were beautiful, but I didn’t quite know how beautiful they could be until I came to Nicaragua. It is all touched by God. It is truly paradise. The night sky is even more beautiful here than I could have ever imagined it to be.
Today right before the kids left, I felt sick to my stomach. It started last night but I woke up feeling that way. I woke up totally broken but full of life. These are the only kids and the only reason I would ever get up and go to bed so early. My family and close friends know that all too well. I sat here for who knows how long bawling my eyes out in prayer over these kids. I had literally just got done praying for them but it wasn’t enough. They need to know, they are loved and they are beautiful. They can’t go back home and be sad all the time. They need to know God is with them everyday.
Right before the kids left, I gave them each a hug (the ones on my team). I said goodbye to my two babies Silvio y Juanita who are brother and sister. I gave them kisses and went on to the next kid. Jonathan, even though he was super quiet, he was such a light. He’s one of the kids I will pray for every single day. He just needs to know how loved he is. Jonathan gave me the biggest abrazo and held me tight turning from side to side. He kept holding me tighter and tighter as time went on. That was the moment I knew it doesn’t matter how bad my spanish is or how much time I spent with each kid; their lives were touched. They were made NEW! Eddie was the next chico that broke my heart. He really touched my heart all week. I didn’t spend much time with him either (Silvio and I were attached at the hip-quite literally) but I saw it in his eyes. In his smile that God was present and that he loved us. When I hugged him, he hugged me back super tight and wouldn’t let me go. He wouldn’t let me go until the group name was called. I told him I loved him very much for probably the billionth time this week and he said he loved me back and smiled. I gave him like three kisses ATLEAST on his precious head in that moment. He returned the favor in the sweetest gesture by touching my face and giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. He just gave me the look of love. It was so beautiful. I am going to miss his spirit.
Now onto Silvio. My little baby, mi amor, y mi nino. Oy miss, that little man has seriously seriously wrecked my heart. I’ve written about him everywhere but I’m just going to write about him one last time briefly and you can refer elsewhere for the rest. He is seriously so precious. Silvio would reach up to me and I’d lift him up into my arms with the look of true love. I miss that boy and his spirit so much. He’d kiss my neck or nuzzle in close, or fall asleep in my arms or stare at me with the widest little eyes. I wish I could keep him forever. I was so worried about connecting to a kid until he came along and I knew he was the one. He was the one kid who just ruined it all for me. In the very best of ways. He changed my heart and my life that little man! ❤
His sister was que quapa too. Such a beautiful light that little girl! ❤ My Juanita. She was such a troublemaker but I loved her anyways. I’d play with her and dance with her. She played the nino y mono y koala game with me and it was so much fun!! We also slept across from each other so I was able to joke with her before bed and in the morning. Today we played a bit in the girls cabin. It was so sweet to play around with her one last time and then Juana even sat with me while we were doing our spoken life words. She held my hands and made me hold her tight. I even gave her one of my hairless so that she could have her hair in a bun. That made her so happy when she realized I wasn’t just playing with her hair but I actually put it up for her too! 🙂
One more thing about Silvio… he would shove food in his mouth from the plate by putting his mouth under the plate and just pushing the food in his mouth. He was too small to reach his face above the table. It was the most precious thing.
To be continued…