16, March 2017
So we are on the plane back to Toronto and I couldn’t be more heartbroken. Our kids are in a whole other country doing who knows what. Maybe they’re smiling and playing around or maybe they’re cold and sad. Maybe they’re crying in a corner or maybe they haven’t eaten since camp. Maybe they haven’t smiled since camp. Maybe I’ll see them again someday, but maybe I won’t. Will I ever hold and snuggle my little Silvio again? Will he remember me? Will Juanita guard her heart and save it for someone special? Will Eddie grow up to follow his dreams? Will he find a solid job or go to college? Will they accept God and live a godly life? So many questions. It hurts to think about, but I know if I keep praying and trusting in God only good will come. God does not leave our prayers unanswered. He will keep my babies safe. I am going to write to them often. I am going to make a solid investment in them. They need to know how loved they are. They need to know that I won’t give up on them ever, I won’t let them go even if they don’t want to receive my love.
I need to find a magazine or an organization to hire me so that I can do missions and write about it. Maybe I can write a book, maybe I can work for Ken and Kendra or do the engage program. But now, as we are heading into Toronto, I know why God called me both places. Because we can have multiple callings and we can do multiple things as long as they are through God. God called me to write about people’s lives and spread awareness. My calling IS social justice reporting and through that, there is so much more potential. God has planted a seed. Start here…go to Chicago write about racial injustice. Come back to Nicaragua and write there. Travel the world, write about all injustices. I really feel like this is the life God has intended for me for so long, I’ve just been so oblivious to it. Ever since I was younger I’ve desired to help through missions. I’ve desired to explore. My heart is in visiting God’s creation and then helping His children. I believe that He has a purpose for me and I plan to chase after it. Just looking at the engage student’s posts/photos, looking again at my own, and seeing other people’s mission work, I just know it’s my calling. I get such a warm “vamanos” desire within me. Iy’s almost like a recharge.
Hey lets get up, run, dance, smile, laugh, live. Be free. I’m excited to see where God plans to take me.